Happy Martin Luther Kind Day, everyone!!!
I know some of you are expecting research and information about religious philosophies, but right now, I don't have time for much research other than for my classes. So...I have to put that on the back burner for now and have decided to share with you instead some recent personal enlightenment.
I was talking to one of my friends the other day about relationships- all types of relationships. Every one of them has taught me self- awareness. The people we choose to spend our time with can be detrimental to the kind of person we become. God has brought some pretty amazing people into my life; they have inspired me to become a better person. Two of them have influenced me to go to college, one of them has taught me to never live my life in fear and the other still teaches me everyday that life isn't worth living unless you are doing something you are passionate about. I like to think of these people as Angels. They are supportive, caring, and thoughtful and always have your best interest at heart. It takes having angels in our lives to help us to recognize people that have the opposite effect on us. These people may or may not be what I like to call “Lifesuckers”. A Lifesucker, by my definition are people that can be one or all of the following: toxic; evil, mean, bad or miserable with their own life; they can bring every one down; they can literally suck the life right out of you! By the time you are done speaking with them or being around them, you are drained- mentally, physically, and emotionally; they do not have anyone’s best interest at heart, except for themselves. The Angels are sent to us for guidance and the Lifesuckers are sent to us for lessons to be learned.
Lifesuckers can make us become people we and others don't recognize. I was telling my friend that I have had people in my life that have taken me to "Crazy-Town", briefly. He wanted to know more about this place and if it was a short trip. All of us have visited this place at least once. If you have ever been in a relationship and have been deeply hurt by that person (toxic relationship) you know exactly what I am talking about...you say and maybe even do things that you would NEVER normally say or do. For most of us, “Crazy-Town” is a short trip; we don't know we are going until we are already there. But for the grace of God, we have people in our lives (angels) that can recognize Destination- "Crazy-Town", and quickly help us to pull over and take a moment to realize where we are, where we are headed and where we want to be. Recognize it for what it is (a very brief mental state), forgive (yourself -most importantly) and move on. One should strive to never visit again.
Lifesuckers can be like cancer in your life, if you let them. You have to cut them out of your life if you can. However, there are some Lifesuckers we simply must deal with...Maybe a family member, a co-worker, or a boss...My strategy for these people is to have limited contact with them; draw healthy boundaries for them and myself. Remember when you say "yes" to other people; make sure you are not saying "no" to yourself. Not only do you want to surround yourself with positive people in your life, but strive to be the kind of person or friend you want in your life. Think of the qualities you value in a friend or significant other and strive to be that kind of person, yourself. Like attracts like.
So...the next time you meet someone new, ask yourself: Is this person a potential Angel? Someone who can be a positive influence in your life? Be selective. The wrong people can make our lives miserable. Anyone who has been married to the wrong person can attest to this. Lifesuckers can take us to"Crazy-Town" if we let them..Just remember it is a brief state of mind that everyone has been to at some point- forgive yourself and move on. There will always be Lifesuckers we must deal with, devise a strategy so their impact on your life is minimal. Strive to be the kind of person you want to come into your life.
One of my favorite quotes that sums it all up, by George Washington Carver: "Surround yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone, than in bad company".
Thanks for taking the time!
God Bless,
Dana
To go with this, there's also a difference in who we are and what we want from other people. If we are an extravert we will typically need an audience but they don't have to participate as much as tolerate. If we are an introvert we don't want attention brought on us but we do desire an individuals attention. A narcissist wants not just our attention but our total allegiance. There are varying degrees of personality disorders and chemically altered behaviors to filter as well. Not to be left out we also have to find the other person interesting. This alone can be the fly in the ointment so to speak.
ReplyDeleteWe all market ourselves to each other and like a used car salesman we don't disclose our shortcomings. I think most of us were impulse buyers when we were younger. Like you said, we had to fall for the sales pitch and get stuck with a lemon a time or two before we learn. As we grow we learn to kick the tires and check under the hood before we get involved.
More than anything we need to teach our children how to do this so they don't walk these extra miles that we had to. I know from my experience my parents weren't aware or didn't understand the depth of these matters. I think their generation put a lot of faith in gods will because it worked fine with their childhood. But, they weren't subjected to outside influences like this generation. Yes, they had TV similar to what we had but it was very pasteurized and only viewed after all the work was done. So our observations like our parents was with limited outside exposure with most of our influence coming from parents, family, community and classmates who were being raised in a similar fashion.
Our children's influences are vast, unimaginably divers and fully interactive. Our children interact with dozens of other people through text message, facebook, twitter, blogs and games before breakfast. If they stop facebooking in time to eat breakfast. The balance has shifted and children's thoughts and behaviors are being influenced by unknown external sources at a greater percentage than we can influence them. We as parents today can not afford to sit idly by trusting in a divine intervention to help our children succeed. I'm not saying we need to abandon faith all together but it would be in our best interest to discard the, "What ever will be will be, it's in gods hands" attitude. Instead adopt the, "god helps those that help themselves" attitude. I would strongly suggest it be the foundation of people faith.